Gilbert Gottfried is indeed the comedian’s comedian. He started performing comedy in New York at the ripe young age of 15 and hasn’t stopped cracking up everyone. He has had many notable roles in television and movies yet he remains humble about his incredible successes in the industry. Gottfried is the youngest of three children and grew up in Brooklyn. Some say his comedy is crude, satirical, and insult comedy...however, I think he is a pure comedy genius.

I was able to chat with Gilbert about his early years in the business, his thoughts on what he may have done instead of being funny, and his upcoming stand-up at Carolines on Broadway on December 22^nd and 23^rd. The show is bound to be a fantastic way to start off this holiday season with tons of laughter.

Times Square (TS): How did your parents react when you told them you wanted to be a comedian?

Gilbert Gottfried (GG): I’m sure it struck them as pretty insane. It’s like telling them: well I think I am going to make my living being the President, or I am going to walk on Mars or something. Totally irrational.

TS: If you could do comedy bits with anyone (dead or alive). Who and why?

GG: Wow...dead or alive. There are so many...

TS: What are some things you have learnt over the years in comedy?

GG: Umm that I should have gone into a different line of work, haha. Let’s see...I don’t know...I am still hoping that I’ll learn something about comedy.

TS: If you hadn’t been so successful in comedy. What would be your plan B?

GG: Well that’s a scary thing because I never actually had a plan B. But I think I’d be in some really low-level subservient job. I’d probably be like an assistant to the assistant janitor.

TS: Haha, well you’d be a funny one no doubt. Of all the mediums you’ve done (TV, movies, stand-up). Which is your favourite and why?

GG: Like I usually say...my favourite is whoever is waving a cheque in my face at the time.

TS: So I’ve got to ask. What are your thoughts on having been the voice for Iago the parrot in Aladdin?

GG: Oh yeah. I was super glad to do it. It’s one of those things that I can look at in my career and say ‘that was a really high-quality production.’

TS: Who would you consider to be the funniest person on earth?

GG: Umm that’s a tough one. Because the longer I’ve stayed in comedy, it’s harder for me to watch somebody and laugh...I look at it in a critical way rather than really enjoying it.

TS: Well I would award it to you hands down. So you’re well known for your funny “Roast Speeches.” Who would you absolutely love to roast?

GG: Oh yeah. Well it would have been Osama Bin Laden but he died. Or I’ve always imagined roasting Hitler... He would be making funny faces saying ‘oh I can’t believe you just said that’ and putting his hands over his face in embarrassment.

TS: So tell me about your book “Rubber Balls and Liquor.” What inspired you to write it?

GG: Rubber balls and Liquor, like the title comes from. I guess is like the first dirty joke that I heard as a kid. And like the first dirty joke for a lot of people. I was surprised to remember that one. It was one of those two people jokes where one person says something and the second says “rubber balls and liquor”. Like ‘the sun was shining today...rubber balls and liquor’ or ‘I had a slice of pizza...rubber balls and liquor.’ The joke never quite made any sense.

TS: Do you think you’ll ever retire from comedy? Why?

GG: Well there’s an old quote “You don’t leave the business, the business leaves you.” I am hoping that I can still keep doing it in some respective way.

TS: Phew! Cause you’re a mighty funny man. So how would you describe the “Gilbert Gottfried” experience to someone who has never heard your comedy? (Obviously they must have been living under a rock).

GG: Well I always say that the Gilbert Gottfried experience is that you’re sitting there silently for 3 minutes and then one person turns to the other person and says “who’s idea was it to see Gilbert Gottfried?” and then somebody flings a chair at me.

TS: Haha that is very similar to a comedy bit you did a few years back at Carolines in New York. What do you have in store for your fans this time around?

GG: Umm I am going to fling a hand grenade into the audience...

TS:  A comedy hand grenade I hope...Do you plan to blow them up with new material?

GG: Haha, no I got it an Army surplus store... [As for new material] I don’t know depends on the night. Some nights I’ll start improvising and stuff will come to me, other nights I’ll still be doing bits about raw hide.

TS: Do you have any new projects for 2012 that you’d like to share?

GG: Nothing really...The problem with me is that I never really have a plan and I just hop from one thing to the next.

TS: You let your comedy gut guide you. That’s awesome and it keeps your fans on their toes I suppose. As long as you never stop being funny! Good luck at Carolines.

GG: Thank you.

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